Funny Doctor-Patient Stories that Prove You Will Be OK Asking Anything When You Visit Our Office

May 19, 2022
William Hanner D.O.

Visiting the doctor’s office can sometimes feel intimidating, especially when patients feel concerned they may hear bad news. And often, a lack of knowledge about what to expect from your time with the doctor can lead to unusual, even humorous, situations.

Trust us, it is totally okay to ask us anything when you come in for a visit. There is no reason to hold back or be afraid to bring up your concerns. And there is no reason to feel embarrassed about your unique health circumstances. Chances are, we have seen and heard many similar things, and ultimately, our office is here to help you find a path to better wellness, no matter what you are facing right now.


Here are a few funny doctor-patient jokes and funny stories for you to enjoy (and learn from!) as you plan your next visit to see our caring, compassionate staff.

Everyone Has Humorous Things to Say

When it comes to important medical procedures, colonoscopies are some of the most awkward to think about—yet they can save lives. After all, they can detect and address one of the most common cancers very early, even if the prep for them is not so fun.


Writer Dave Barry did a little research and discovered some of the funniest things patients have said to their doctors before or after their procedure. Here are a few:


  • “Now I know how a Muppet feels!” 
  • “Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?” 
  • “Any sign of the trapped miners, chief?”

Lesson:  Get the tests you need, even if they seem a bit embarrassing. You will survive your colonoscopy, and we may even be able to laugh about it.


Your Story Is Safe with Us


When a patient is facing a medical need that arises from an embarrassing situation, it can feel awkward to reveal what happened to your doctor. Here is a funny story that illustrates this point. (We found it on the Reader’s Digest website.)


Before I got into medical school, I was volunteering in the ER. I walked in one night, and a tech was scrubbing a guy with road rash down his arm, his body, and his leg. It looked really painful, and I asked the patient what happened.


He said, “I was on my Harley, and I was being chased by the cops. I went around a corner, hit some gravel, and laid my bike down. How does that story sound?”


I noticed the man’s wife in the corner of the room roll her eyes.


“Sounds great,” I said. “What really happened?”


“I was on my scooter going downhill and I fell off,” he admitted.


“Stick with the first story,” I agreed.


Lesson:  It is always best to be straightforward and honest with your doctor, because that is how we diagnose you and find the best solution for your health needs. (But if you want us to tell all your friends you fell off your Harley, we will do that too. We have your back!)

Some Health Issues Are Addressable with Simple Solutions


Often, we hear from patients who are nervous that they will need complicated surgeries or complex health regimens and medications to address their concerns. But sometimes, the solution is simpler than you think. Check out this joke that proves this point:


A man walks into a doctor’s office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear, and a banana in his right ear.


“What is the matter with me?” he asks the doctor. 


The doctor replies, “You are not eating properly.”


Lesson:  At our office, we believe in sharing practical approaches to improving your well-being. If diet, exercise or other everyday tasks can help you feel better, we will share that news with you.

Never Be Afraid to Ask


Often, patients can feel awkward when asking a question they feel they should know about. Or they are not sure if their concerns are legitimate. We love this story that demonstrates a great outcome in a situation like this:


Overheard in the ER (from Reader’s Digest):


We got a frantic call from a woman who claimed she had overdosed and needed help immediately. We arrive on scene, and she hands us an empty mint container, saying she took them all. That night she learned that you cannot overdose on mints.


Lesson:  When it comes to your health, there are no silly questions. We would rather have patients who visit us with a concern that turns out to be nothing serious, instead of waiting until their situation becomes serious and even life-threatening. So when in doubt, ask us! We are happy to answer all your questions.

Doctors (and Nurses!) Care More than You Might Realize


Sometimes, doctors and nurses get a bit of a reputation as being uncaring. Stories like these are a perfect example why people may believe this myth (another Reader’s Digest tale):


My husband went to the cardiologist after experiencing symptoms of a heart attack. 


“I had taken our cat to the vet,” he told the nurse. “And while I was there, my chest got tight, and I had trouble breathing. Later, my left arm began aching.” 

The nurse was clearly concerned. “So,” she asked, “how was the cat?”


Lesson:  Doctors and nurses like a good laugh, just as patients do! And we definitely care about our patients — as well as their pets. At our office, we listen closely and provide personalized wellness plans so you can rest assured you will receive warm, thoughtful care.

Schedule That Next Visit When You Need It


Are you a patient who tends to put off your doctor’s visits, important tests and physical exams? This joke is for you:


Does an apple a day keep the doctor away?


Only if you aim it well enough.


Lesson:  While some patients may prefer not to visit a doctor, there are some situations where seeking medical assistance is the wisest way to address your health and live your best life.


 Compassionate Care for Patients in the Tulsa Area


If you are experiencing any symptoms that have you concerned, or if you are in need of a vital wellness procedure such as a colonoscopy, our office is here to provide you with compassionate, thoughtful care that is individualized to fit you personally.

Reach out to schedule a consultation and get health input from a team that will laugh with you, support you, and work with you toward greater wellness.

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